A Letter To My Lover

Another morning, another evening in which you walked through my dreams like you own them.

And perhaps you do.

And after I have woken up, put my clothes on, and walked downstairs to start the water for the coffee, your arms are still around me and your hands are still in my hair. The things you said to me, during the night, still ring in my head and heart. And I wonder, sometimes, if I turn around that you will be there, behind me. I could put my back to the counter and face you again. To see you, touch you, and kiss you.

But whenever I turn around, you're not there.

So much of my life today I owe to you. Do you remember the first time we made love?
This letter is a thank you. The seasons spent with you taught me more about myself than I had ever thought possible. Despite a lifetime of secrets and lies, I learned how to tell you the truth about anything and everything. And I learned that you wanted to hear it. Sometimes it was hard-it's not easy to always tell someone the truth, even at risk of hurting their feelings. But it was so important to me to do so, to tell you everything, to let you IN, that once I started telling you everything in my heart, head, and hands I never looked back.

Thank you for telling me all the secrets you had, for dusting out the cobwebs in your soul and taking a chance. Thank you for putting your hand in the small of my back as we crossed the street.Thank you for being the love of my life, my greatest passion, and my dearest friend. I miss you every day. And to be honest, I would give asolutely anything to have you back.

Sometimes, when my fantasies about having you show back up get to be too much, I have to put my head down and take deep breaths, because the ache I have from missing you is impossible to swallow over. The grief that we are not in each other's daily lives too great. When that feeling passes, I am able to just smile a bit and be glad that I have a love like you, a moment in time that is enough to keep me going for the rest of my life.

I will never regret Us.

I will always love you.

Always.

Love,
Jun Kit